“You must learn a new way to think before you can master a new way to be.”— Marianne Williamson (via purplebuddhaquotes)
“I don’t suppose you have many friends. Neither do I. I don’t trust people who say they have a lot of friends. It’s a sure sign that they don’t really know anyone.”—
Carlos Ruiz Zafón
You’ll block your blessings by telling everyone your business.
i don’t know how much of this i can take anymore. I am constantly feeling sick, worried, annoyed and sad. I just feel hopeless, lost and anxious. i have no idea what is happening inside my head. every bone in my body feels as though it is breaking slowly. my thoughts are all over the place - i can barely speak to anyone anymore. my heart hurts too. i feel like sometimes my only escape is my home but that place is becoming a nightmare too. i just want to be normal. I want to be happy, full of life and energetic. I want to be able to do everything everyone does. I want to be happy. I don’t even know what i want to do anymore. each day i tell myself that things will get better - that i would stop all the horrible thoughts and i would live life without any problems. then something happens - then this awful feeling attacks my entire being - i can’t control it. I wish i could. looking at people becomes tiring and i am constantly avoiding the world. i want to make friends but i can’t seem to stop cancelling plans with people. i want to meet someone but i can’t because i can’t maintain eye contact for more than 2 seconds. what is this life? what is my life? why do i keep feeling this way. i can’t tell anyone about the way i am feeling because no one will understand. i have hidden the scars for a long time now…i can’t blow my cover. I read and read and read to get out of my miserable world and step into a another world instead. everyday i am frightened to get up because i know its going to be another fail. i know that i won’t be able to carry on with the day. every other day, i have to come home because i can’t stand the rest of the world. all i want to do is be alone. i am constantly flustered and in need of a hiding spot. i don’t think i can live like this anymore. i feel like i just wait for it to get dark to sleep because i do not have any motivation to do anything. i want to do well at uni but i can’t pull myself together or attempt to answer questions. when i do attempt to answer questions - half the time they are incomplete or just wrong. sometimes i wonder whether I am cut out for this? will i ever be able to fulfil my dream? will i continue to live every day hoping that the next day i won’t wake up because even if i do wake up -my soul is dead.
I wish I had a travel buddy.
Honestly, you just take a deep breath and say fuck it.
